Life after College...

Life after college could be one of the toughest things you may ever have to deal with. Here I am eight months after I have graduated with my Bachelors degree feeling like I have failed at life and I know that I am not the only one. We really should’ve listened to the older folks when we had the chance. I mean I thought high school was the best years of my life but nothing can beat the freedom of getting up at 3am just to go hang with your friends at a kickback or even Steak ‘n Shake, and having no one to tell you to be back by such and such time. You literally could do whatever you wanted under your best judgement.

Coming back home after college really discouraged myself and a lot of my other peers. What we really didn’t understand was that God has an individual plan for each and everyone of us. I graduated college employed by the Pinellas County School Board, just being employed full time was one step closer to where I wanted to be but as I said before I was not in a good head space when I came home. I didn’t really care to be around family, if I wasn’t at work I was definitely in my room plotting my escape. Life after college to me looked like my boyfriend and I getting a place, getting a car and working and waiting for graduate school to begin. Just a whole bunch of happiness, instead there were many tears. I remember talking to my Dad for hours and days at a time about how unhappy I was and it wasn’t because of anyone here, but being away for years I found out what actually made me happy outside of what I grew up on. I had no friends here, My boyfriend was hours always, we both had no means of transportation, and once again not much freedom living with my Mother.

Fast forwarding to the beginning of March I had began to be in a better head space but then came COVID19, The Quarantine and the unexpected that happened with my Father. For the first couple months of all that happening I literally slept the pain away. I thought “Wow, I literally just started pulling myself from the dark place and here it is trying to pull me back in”. I fought it off with all the strength that I had within me. I was doing great. As I sit here and type this on August 16th I sadly have the feeling of defeat in my heart once again. I look at my goal list for 2020 and the only thing I’ve accomplished was buying my first car all by myself. That I am grateful for, but I know that there is so much more that I am capable of.

As many of you know I was accepted into Graduate school last Thursday only to find out during my virtual orientation two days ago that school starts tomorrow and I haven’t even received the slightest information about registration, or tuition. This may push me back another year before starting grad school now. Only four more months of the year 2020 and the biggest blessing I have is my Dad still being here with me through all he has been through. I continue to count my blessings as they come though. I believe God gave us the year of 2020 for a reason, my reason was to learn to be more patient. I can see where I have grown a lot in that department, but I definitely still have more room to go. My recent college graduates, as some of us are going through this funk together I would like you to know that life is not perfect and neither are we. God’s timing will always be the best timing. We may grow weary and faint but as long as we pray and manifest in what we want we will receive it. Create your future based on what you know you are able to do! Never give up on your dreams because some of the most successful people in life have failed or been defeated. We have each other. We are all in this together. Use this time to encourage a recent college graduate. You never know what they could be going through mentally behind closed doors.

Peach 🍑